pie and mash

today we did something that had an exotic feel to it. we went to eat in one of the pie and mash places on one of high streets around the corner, Roman Road. London’s most traditional food, working class food since Victorian times, east london Cockney food par excellence. minced beef pie, mashed potatoes and a green sauce called liquor, for 2 pounds or so. a small shop front space covered in white tiles, a marble counter and tables with wooden benches, partly seperated from a backroom space where the stuff is made.

east london is an interesting place to live and think of contemporary history through layers of human business and mobility. on another big road around the other corner, Mile End Road, there is a market every day to which an amount of women wearing the niqab (faceveil) come that i have never seen in any other place before. peter, a new friend of giulia (giulia makes new friends every time she goes out to the shop, the laundrette…), who did not seem so much older than us, explained that when he grew up here, the neighborhood was white, apart from three black families living next to each other, of which his family was one. the place has transformed so much since then, creating resentment among the indigenous white people. three old pie and mash houses on Roman Road testify to an older London that does not exist anymore yet is part and parcel of what this place is made of. and we’re learning something new: better to take two portions of mash, and i’m not fond of the liquor so perhaps next time i should take gravy. for the sea-food lovers, and as a testimony to the importance of the vein that runs through this city, you should try the jellied eels.

fox

back in the new bethnal green home, which hosts yet another visitor this night, isabelle from paris. giulia does a delicious pumpkin risotto, and by the end of the evening i find myself washing up the dishes in front of the kitchen window. my eyes wonder over these old east london two-storey brick houses. then, in the middle of the empty street, a beautiful golden brown fox walks by, in all elegance. it takes a moment to believe what i just saw. when i tell the girls, they are not surprised. foxes live here; when the girls leave the front door (which gives onto the yard of the pub) open they even dare to visit the house. urban jungle in yet another sense.

women’s day

antwerpen, the (flemish) women’s day. a heart-warming way to make a very brief visit to vlaanderen, surrounded by a bunch of familiar faces, political companeras and friends. some friends said i look really different these days, some insisted it was the californian influence that made me look mexican… (okay, maybe the rose in my hair played a role in this; and of course women in mexico all wear roses in their hair. i had thought there might have been an opportunity to sing bread and roses during the day, but then i realized i didn’t know all the lyrics…)

and we had quite some work to do – our gebroken wit workshop which developed out of things we learned from the challenging white supremacy sessions with sharon and many other sources. haar antwerpen is screened and sold – pleasurable to feel a material product in hands that now is starting to spread and lead its own life. and i have to participate to the general debate, for nextgenderation of course. (oh god, as the facilitator was increasingly working on my nerves, and curtailing what i felt was an expression of political passion with a flat and annoying “but i thought women would do things differently, less violently”, it slipped out of my mouth: “well there has been no struggle for liberation without violence.” as nadia added afterwards: “it’s merely a sociological observation.”)

what i most enjoyed came after all the work. the beautiful meeting with rauda morcos from ASWAT, a palestinian gay women’s association based in haifa, and hanging out toghether with the Women in Black from leuven who had invited her (leuvense WiB insisting i connect with the bay area WiB; rauda insisting i connect with the bay area network of arab queer women – it seems that every time i leave europe to the US there’s a new set of facilitated contacts… and then we do the little plot to get Aswat T-shirts to friends and to Helem in Beirut). and plenty of laughter in good sweet company at the end of the day with the queer cafe and stand-up comedy, and singing our hearts out and dancing with hilde to beautiful french chansons…

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(rauda morcos, photos by lieve snellings)

autumn

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autumn is coming to an end, at least that is how it feels. it rained yesterday, and here rain is winter. autumn for me was living with spiders. my garden room is full of them – they come and go through the gaps in the crooked window frames, they spin cobwebs all over the room, sometimes i find traces of them in dreams, in my bed in the morning and through bites on my body. cohabitation. i’m enjoying the proximity of these creatures a lot.

memories of other autumns pass by. autumn 2004 – profound exhaustian, agony and sadness. the breakdown, the fall. made soft by winter and spring in istanbul. autumn of 2005 – dancing joy and happiness. contente d’etre heureuse, as they say in that beautiful circus that came to visit saint-gilles. torn away from that by the winter in santa cruz. and now autumn in santa cruz. it’s gentle. gentle compared to the intensities of previous years. and gentle compared to this summer, with the beautiful intensity of the caravan of friends and the angry intensity of my santa cruz resentment. gentle with lots of nest warmth and writing solitude. and some class adventures and some political challenges that i don’t quite manage to live up to in the flow of this writing life.

and in some hours time i’m flying to london – oh, a radical different intensity of things to come, perhaps, who knows, a second autumn.
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(maría’s photos, of course)

election sunday

these were the elections that would deliver the first Vlaams Belang mayor in Antwerpen. i can hardly remember elections in Belgium from before the time they were nick-named “black sunday” (since that election day in the 1980s when became clear how many people were ready and eager to vote for what then was called the Vlaams Blok). yesterday’s elections did not turn out black. ambigious, but not black. (and the mayor of Antwerpen remains red, although it’s the red of a socialist party revamped by neoliberalism and populism.) a bend in the VB growth line.

what made that happen? much talk about the charismatic populist leader of the socialist. in fact much talk about everything except… jan hertogen’s careful analysis of the elections results relates the interruption of the VB growth line to the so-called migrant vote. nadia wrote an excellent piece based on this analysis, monsterverantwoordelijkheid voor een monsteroverwinning. the affirmation of an “allochtoon” political subject in the realm of party politics and elections. but guess how difficult this is for Vlaanderen to see and recognize…

volver

00001660.jpg a wish: watching Volver with you,
she had written me
a while ago
pour rentrer ensemble
dans ce enchanting fairy-tale
comme toujours (ou de nouveau)
tout un monde de relations entre femmes
dense compliqué émouvant
plein d’amour et care
afterwards we’re most struck
by the ghostly presence of care work
comme si les corps qui soignent les autres
sont on the verge (or well over over it…)
de devenir invisible

la british

i’m kind of excited & proud today: i became a Reader of the British Library. i must admit that my card is only valid for a week, although they insisted that they keep the files and i only have to come back next time with the magic paper and i’ll get a full card. and the magic paper is… any kind of document or letter or bill or bank statement with my address on it. cause listen to this: i presented a perfectly valid Belgian passport (with a perfectly valid US visa in it), a perfectly valid Belgian identity card and Luxemburg residence permit. but in this British bureaucracy, these documents didn’t count (they lack an address).

giulia was already read to go and find ourselves another place to work, but i stay put, grow roots on the spot, and argue. the woman lists all the possible documents that she would accept, proposes that i can get a bank statement or bill faxed and come back on monday, but i’m not ready yet to accept. i get lucky cause i find my international student health insurance pass, with the old Kenneth Street address in Santa Cruz on it. she doesn’t recognize this particular kind of health insurance card (admittedly, it’s a lousy bit of paper) but surely, i argue, with all of these documents together it must be possible. she gets her superior. he agrees to do me week card. then my eye falls on the expiry date on my health insurance pass: 31 June 2006. shit. (i mean, i’m sure i have health insurance somewhere somehow – hello there mum, no need to worry – only the pass doesn’t vouch for it). but they don’t notice and 10 minutes later i have my BL plastic card with digital photo. the magic card which opens the doors to an impressive reading room, what a amazing working space…

so if i understood it well: three different kinds of valid official goverment-issued documents, but it’s a expired temporary health insurance card that does the trick. getting acquinted (again) with perks of British admin and bureaucratic logic…

dochamps

a small wooden house in the Ardennes
gourmet good food and even better company
a cute baby boy named aaron
(and of course there’s luce irigaray, la luce)
a village full of Hassidic jews dancing and singing for shabbat
(and worried looks from ingrid and roland
when giulia and i sing and dance along)
aaron and ingrid

reading

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