christians

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two morning sessions of conference before nadia and jeanette and friends have their session. i actually start going to one of the sessions, on Lebanon. but i don’t make it through the first paper, time to escape again. there’s not much time though, and so it happens that i jump on one of these Old Town Trolleys that stop in front of the hotel and do a tour of the city. many places that i visisted yesterday, but also the harbor and Charlestown (US Constitution, Bunker Hill,..). heroic “cradle of liberty” stories alternated with trivia of various kinds.

i share the trolley with what on first sight seems a model hollywood family. very blond. and very loud – the woman has one of these high pitched voices that is difficult on the human ear. they display a great interest in what the driver/guide tells us, encourage the children to take it in and comment what a shame it is that this history is not taught in school in this country – the reason why their kids attend a Christian school, so that they would know about the history and values that found this country. at almost every stop the trolley makes they check with the driver if there is a McDonalds close by, despite him assuring them he would let them know.

it began with the driver making an allusion to me in relation to a piece of his narrative taking place in Europe. we had been talking before the family got on the trolley and he had wanted to know where i was from. the woman’s attention got fixed on me – where was i from, what was i doing in Boston. a conference, i reply, in middle eastern studies. in a split second i see her adopting a particular determined and complacent posture.
– “well sarah you must understand that when we go there, it is to spread the democracy and freedom that we have to places that don’t have it.”
i couldn’t think of an appropriate respons, baffled as i was, and it just somehow came out:
– “well it isn’t really working, is it… it seems that this country is good in making a big mess of many people’s lives.”
– “but you have to understand it is with the best of intentions. sometimes it’s difficult over there, you can’t always predict how things go. but you must keep confidence that good intentions will win in the end. that’s what built up this country.”

with every sentence we trap ourselves in continuing the conversation. soon we’re on the topic of the greatness and superiority of the U.S., “the best nation on earth” as she puts it. i challenge her. for some reason we get into education – i remember feeling i wanted to move on to health care – and i’m pulling together the evidence of how classist (no, don’t worry, i’ve learned, i didn’t actually use the word) it is. from all the things i list, she picks out the tuition fees.
– “but do you know why we have such high tuition fees? because we have all these international students coming here.”
with a nice and open and smiling face. i have a moment of just shaking my head which apparently she takes as a sign to continue:
– “and why do we have all the foreigners coming here? because our education is the best. everybody in the whole world knows it, and everybody wants it. they all want to get education in America.”

this conversation deterioriates at an amazing speed. some minutes later (in which we came back from standards of education, like levels of illiteracy, to the war in Iraq) i tell her i don’t want to have this conversation. yet the determination doesn’t suffice to break it off immediately. “okay,” she responds, “but take your time to discover our country and ask any American and he would tell you the same.” “how funny that you should mention that,” i reply, “as i just come from this conference with more than 2000 Americans and i can assure you their views are very different from yours. and given that they are actually informed about the Middle East, those views make much more sense than yours.”

sigh, another senseless conversation (10 more of these and i might start sounding like juan cole…). i’m actually saved by McDonalds, priorities are priorities, satisfied by some nuggets of independence history it is time for big burgers. from the corner of my eye i see the woman scribbling busily. before she gets off the trolley, she gives me a card – “please take this. i’ll pray for you.”

curiosity wins, as usual. (fieldwork material, as nadia says) the card reads:

We are believers in the faith that was the foundation of this most accomplished (for our age) nation on the planet. Our bravery, generosity and true love for all peoples has benefitted every nation on earth. God bless you.

they are from Riverside, California.

~~~
when i get back to the Marriott it is time to pack and check out. in the elevator a conference participant is talking in arabic on her cell phone, but she loses reception. she seems distressed. she turns to us and asks who was assassinated? we haven’t heard anything. she insists, yes, somebody was killed, in Beirut. while entering the room i tell nadia to put on CNN, cause somebody was killed… nadia is packing in front of television – Pierre Gemayel, she responds. trouble.
~~~
the session of nadia and friends is a fine one, that doesn’t get the context it deserves: scheduled in the very last slot of the conference means little audience, and the questions go off in strange directions (but here i should shut up cause i had a question, which moreover the friends liked, when i put it to them afterwards, but i didn’t ask it during the session…) a last drink in the lobby, and time to get ourselves back to New York.

new england

the second escapade, on my own. wandering through downtown Boston, i stumble upon the Old South Meeting House and it occurs to me that perhaps i should take yet another aspect of Boston’s reputation seriously and explore the “cradle of independence”. built in the early 1700s as a Puritan meeting house, the Old South Meeting House hosts the exhibition “Voices of Protest” which tells the story of the gatherings at the house that lead the settlers or colonists to challenge British rule: the house became an organizing point for the Boston Tea Party (1773), which was one of the events that sparked off the American Revolution. apart from brushing up my knowledge of American history, which definately needed some brushing up, the exhibit strikes me in the way it brands the spirit of liberty and independence. at some point i can’t help making an analogy – so wait, if those Belgians who went to colonize the Congo after some time decide to separate from the motherland and continue the colonization on their own – hell, all those taxes that we pay for the sake of an elite in Brussels – what kind of liberty and independence would that be? or better, whose story of independence would that be? the whole point of the story of Congo’s independence is about kicking Belgian rule out. ay this foundational myth of American independence…

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explorations continue in Beacon Hill, with its 19th century row houses, brick sidewalks, cobblestone streets (or is that already my imagination…), gas street lamps,… very european in a sense, yet there’s a weird time wrap or gap. i realize it reminds me so much more of early medieval parts of cities back home (Brugge!), then of the 19th century houses and streets (like in Saint-Gilles…). something to do with a surreal quality of these hyperconserved places. and then there is obviously a lot of money in this neighborhood…

the Boston Common. the oldest city park in this country, since early 1600s. reminds me i want to read the book that Berna gave me about what happened to the commons in New England.

in all of my wanderings i stumble upon the cafe that is used for the outdoors shooting of Cheers, which i thought i should tell my dad, a big fan.

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(a Cambridge view from Boston)

replacing the whip

a fragment from this week’s readings for Theories of Slavery that caught my attention, from Saidiya Hartman’s Scenes of Subjection. Terror, Slavery and Self-making in Nineteenth-Century America. how “tethers of burdened individuality” and its accompanying hallmarks of individuated responsibility, morality, will and self-discipline replaced or supplemented the whip in the post-Emancipation era.

“Given this rendition of slavery, responsibility was deemed the best antidote for the ravages of the past; never mind that it effaced the enormity of the injuries of the past, entailed the erasure of history, and placed the onus of the past onto the shoulders of the individual. The journey from chattel to man entailed a movement from subjection to self-possession, dependency to responsibility, and coercion to contract. Without responsibility, autonomy, will, and self-possession would be meaningless. If the slave was dependent, will-less, and bound by the dictates of the master, the freed individual was liberated from the past and capable of remaking him/herself through the sheer exercise of will. Responsibility was thus an inestimable component of the bestowal of freedom, and it also produced individual culpability and national innocence, temporal durability and historical amnesia.”

sankofa

from Sankofa, the “homework” film for Theories of Slavery:

“Spirit of the dead rise up, lingering spirit of the dead rise up and posses your bird of passage. Those stolen Africans, step out of the ocean from the wombs of the ships and claim your story. Spirit of the dead rise up, lingering spirit of the dead rise up and posses your vessel. Those Africans, shackled in leg irons and enslaved, step out of the acres of came fields and coton fields and tell your story. Spirit of the dead rise up, longering spirit of the dead, rise up and posses your bird of passage. Those lynched in the Magnolias, swinging on the limgs of the weeping willows, rotting food for the cultures, step down and claim your story. Spirit of the dead rise up, lingering spirit of the dead, rise up and posses your vessel. Those tied, bound and whipped from Brazil to Mississippi. Step out and tell your story. Those in Jamaica, in the fields of Cuba, in the swamps of Florida, the rice fields of South Carolina. You waiting Africans, step out and tell your story. Spirit of the dead, rise up, lingering spirit of the dead rise up, and posses your bird of passage. From Alabama to Suriname, upt to the caves of Louisiana, come out you African Spirits, step out and claim your stories. You raped, slave bred, castrated, burned, tarred and feathered, roasted, chopped, lobotomized, bound and gagged. Spirit of the dead rise up, lingering spirit of the dead rise up and posses your bird of passage. You African spirit. Spirit of the dead rise up, lingering spirit of the dead rise up and posses your bird of passage.”

zorro

c’est dans mon lit dans la paix de ma chambre au coenraetsstraat que je termine Isabelle Allende’s Zorro – ou elle re-invente la légende de Zorro d’une façon magnifique. L’histoire commence en Alta California et ses missions espagnoles.

“Let us begin at the beginning, at an event without which Diego de la Vega would not have been born. It happened in Alta California, in the San Gabriel mission in the year 1790 of Our Lord. At that time the mission was under the charge of Padre Mendoza, a Fanciscan who had the shoulders of a woodcutter and a much younger appearance than his forty well-lived years warranted. […] The natives of the coast of California had a network of trade and commerce that had functioned for thousands of years. Their surroundings were very rich in natural resources, and the tribes developed different specialties. The Spanish were impressed iwth the Chumash economy, so complex that it could be compared to that of China. The Indians had a monetary system based on shells, and they regularly organizes fairs that served as an opportunity to exchange goods as well as contract marriages.

Those native peoples were confounded by the mystery of the crucified man the whites workshipped, and they could not understand the advantage of living contrary to their inclinations in this world in order to enjoy a hypothetical well-being in another. In the paradise of the Christians, they might take their ease on a could and strum a harp with the angels, but the truth was that in the afterworld most would rather hunts bears with their ancestors in the land of the Great Spirit. Another thing they could not understand was why the foreigners planted a flag in the ground, marked off imaginary lines, claimed that area as theirs, and then took offense if anyone came onto it in pursuit of a deer. The concept that you could posses land was unfanthomable to them as that of dividing up the sea.

In their letters to the director of missions in Mexico, the friars complained, “The Indians prefer to live unclothed, in straw huts, armed with bow and arrow, with no education, goverment, religion or respect for authority, and dedicated entirely to satisfying their shameless appetites, as if the miraculous waters of baptism had never washed away their sins.” The Indians’ insistence on clingign to the their customs had to be the work of Satan – their was no other explanation – which is why the friars went out to hunt down and lasso the deserters and then whipped their doctrine of love and forgiveness into them.”

But then Padre Mendoza receives news that several tribes led by a warrior wearing a wolf’s head had risen up against the whites…

stop the violence

Por el amor a nuestros hijos
Alto a la violencia!
For the Love of our Children
Stop the Violence!

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in respons to more shootings and killings in the area, Barrios Unidos called for a march today. i join the arrival of march at the Louden Nelson Community Center in our street. a rally of some hours with kids and young people speaking about the issues of drugs, alcohol, gang violence and, basically, suburban boredom. social problems that are shot through with race politics, as is reflected in the communities that come to denounce the violence today: mainly latino and also native indian communities. (but none of the speakers, i notice, speak of poverty or the economic architecture of the social problems they raise.)
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the dances and rituals performed by a native american group (from outside of Santa Cruz) affect me very much. i keep on trying to understand why, and i realize it’s the first time i see native american performances for an audience of a political march, and not an audience of tourists or researchers or a documentary…

(my thoughts wander back to those stories of and encounters with “indians” when i was 6 and which impressed me very much at the time. first cloud of memories. the lessons in american history at school, which in our school often included an afternoon of playing out the stories we had just been taught. i remember us playing the arrival of Niña, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. that was still fun somehow. then we played thanksgiving and “cowboys and indians”. in our class back then, 1977-78, in NY, indians were not very popular. most kids wanted to play pilgrims or cowboys. except me, i used to ask to play the indians all the time. cloud of memories number two. travel through america that summer, and getting all excited as we drive through new mexico and arizona. we would see indians, our parents told us. the reservations. the misery of it. the gaze of the little boy about our age throwing a stone at the car as we drive away. maud, do you also remember?)

the power of the performance has a grip on me. then the audience become participants as the dancers begin to draw people in and teach us the steps. there must have been a hundred of people dancing in a big circle, till one of the native american dancers breaks free from the circle. she becomes the head of a serpent of people that tries to catch up with the pounding of the drum. in the end we are running, out of breath, trying hard to hold on to the hands of those besides you. when the rhythm is finally broken, the people fall to the ground and thank the earth.

the Brown Berets are present. maría and i have been wanting to get in touch with them. i go to talk, and they invite me to their meetings on thursdays. i leave with the phone number of sandino, who drives every week from SC to Watsonville, and a happy plan for when i’m back in SC after the summer.

just before leaving i see a couple of elderly white women with small table and some flyers. about violence against women. we talk and i learn that Santa Cruz has an inexplicably high rate of violence against women. whether the statistics are compared to other towns of similar size, other beach resorts, or other college towns, an amount of violence consistently remains unaccounted for. the “this is a safe place” stickers and the (almost) free self-defense courses for women are starting to make sense. maría and me had wondered whether they were part of the progressive image Santa Cruz prides itself on, or whether there was another reason… and i think back of sahar’s impossible question if, objectivily speaking, and artificially disconnected from the rest of the world, Santa Cruz was a more liberated and more emancipated place. good to know the facts… the Commission or the Prevention of Violence Against Women just published a report on violence against women in Santa Cruz, to be checked out when i get back…

class

first in a mexican restaurant in the mission and then at diana’s place we dig deeper into class in america. starting point: the absence of reflections and political positions and strategies grounded in class as a social conflict. while it so obviously profoundly structures this society. while there is a language and political struggle and intelligence about race, gender, sexuality. speaking about race indeed often contains and addresses class matters. but mostly not as such, and it remains inadequate to get a grip on the class structure of this society. perhaps there’s something about the disappearance of the industrial working class in this country, but that also doesn’t do the trick: there’s an army of lumpenproletariat all over the place (notably in america’s army).

we already pondered upon how we were immediately attracted to the kind of marxist groups that we don’t necessarily have much affinity or patience with at home (i mean, i remember the brief moment of concern when at the first meeting of the Students and Workers for Justice someone of the lovely group wrote “All Wealth is Created by Labor” on the black board.), but the attraction lies in the recognition of the fact that class profoundly shapes this society – an acknowledgement which is generally quite rare.

so what’s up with class in this place? the ideology of the American Dream, with its principles and abstract promise that everybody can transcend the conditions in which they were born, can climb at least a few but potentially many steps up that ladder. a hegemonic ideology which leaves space for revendications about gender and race inequality or discrimination: it is possible to create some kind of a consensus around the fact that everybody’s access to that ladder should be equal, and that whatever holds specific (groups of) people back, outside of the will and responsibility of the individual, is unfair and should be eradicated. clearly not all feminist, anti-racist and civil rights political claims function on those (liberal and equal opportunities) grouds, but a part does. class struggle, however, doesn’t really function on those grounds, “class discrimination” (or “class pride”…) is kind of besides the issue. instead, a strong political perspective on class requires such a dissociation with the American Dream and vision on social antagonism and struggle (the end of “win-win” situations)… does all of this mean that the American Dream still works? let’s just say that its blatent failure in the daily lives of most people isn’t (yet) translated in scattering the ideological hegemonies. there’s much burn-out and drop-out and seeking healing and especially silence silence silence. i guess that means it still works…

american eyes

54820028.JPG American eyes
Bury the past
Rob us blind
+ view the world
from American eyes

As we walk on the UCSC campus, Sara and i come across this writing on the wall (of the Visual Arts building). (Rage against the machine.) Resonates with many of the things we’ve been thinking and talking about. Wondering which inhabitant (student, worker, janitor, faculty, visitor,…) of the campus wrote this and what else is going on in her/his mind…

yosemite

Yosemite. Yet another place on this continent that gets “discovered” and subsequently misnamed, by the first expedition of the Mariposa Battalion. Their mission was a punitive one. After gold was discovered in the Sierra Nevada foothills in 1848, thousands of miners came to the region to seek for their fortune. As the goldseekers began to exploit the land, the local native people fought to protect their homelands. A period of armed struggle followed, called the “Mariposa Indian War”. The Yosemite guide actually begins to give a just account: “By 1851, the continued threft of Indian lands and murder of native people resulted in the Mariposa Indian War.” As the Indians were angered by the encroachment of the western settlers and the way it destroyed their world, they attacked a trading post in the Merced River Canyon. In retaliation, the miners organized the state-sanctioned Mariposa Battalion.

This is the Battalion that, in the pursuit of Indians, entered Yosemite Valley on March 27, 1851. They were immediately struck by the beauty of the place. (from a diary of one of the members of the battalion: The grandeur of the scene was but softened by the haze that hung over the valley — light as gossamer — and by the clouds which partially dimmed the higher cliffs and mountains. This obscurity of vision but increased the awe with which I beheld it, and as I looked, a peculiar exalted sensation seemed to fill my whole being, and I found my eyes in tears with emotion.) That night the group agreed to call the place “Yo-sem-i-ty”, which they mistakeningly thought to be the native name.

The Indians who lived in the valley called their home Ahwahnee, which probably means “place of the gaping mouth.” They called themselves Ahwahneechee. They were primarily of Southern Miwok ancestry, and had trade and kinship ties with the Mono Paiutes from the east side of the Sierra (near Mono lake). Indian peoples have lived in the region for as long as 8,000 years, maybe even 10,000 years. They have profoundly marked the way the valley looks today: the pattern of oaks and grasslands is a result of the way they intentionally burned pieces of the land. They knew very well that the seeds of the giant sequoias need the heat of fire to grow, a knowledge that was only “discovered” in the 1960s by the National Park authorities, as the Visitors Center explains. So while the geological landscape is the result of many millions years of activity of water and especially ice (glaciers appeared about 1 million years ago), the valley is very much a space that has been cultivated by humans for a good number of thousands years.

Yet in 1851 white settlers of European origin arrive and they see wilderness. I’m deeply disturbed by this lens of “wilderness” in looking at a place – the projections and symbolic violence of that kind of representation, the actual violence it enables. In the years following the coming of the white settlers, the Indians were both killed and chased from the valley (into reservations at the foothills). Settlers moved in and by 1855 a first party of tourists came to the “Incomparable Valley”. Very soon Yosemite Valley’s ecosystem suffered from the new settlers and visitors: livestock grazing in the meadows, new orchard plantations, etc. Conservationists began appealing to the government to intervene again the private exploitation of Yosemite’s natural beauty. On June 30, 1864 (while the civil war was raging), President Abraham Lincoln signed a bill granting Yosemite Valley and the Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias to the State of California “for public use, resort and recreation,” the two tracts “shall be inalienable for all time”. For the first time in its young history, the federal government set aside scenic lands to protect them and to allow for their enjoyment by all people. This grant is considered the foundation upon which national and state parks were established (it was the basis for Yellowstone to become the first official national park in 1872).

The conservationist most connected to Yosemite is no doubt the Scottish-born John Muir, who first visited the valley in 1868. Here’s a piece of his narration of his first journey from San Francisco into the Sierra Nevada: Arriving by the Panama steamer, I stopped one day in San Francisco and then inquired for the nearest way out of town. “But where do you want to go?” asked the man to whom I had applied for this important information. “To any place that is wild,” I said. This reply startled him. He seemed to fear I might be crazy and therefore the sooner I was out of town the better, so he directed me to the Oakland ferry. So on the first of April, 1868, I set out afoot for Yosemite. […] Looking eastward from the summit of the Pacheco Pass one shining morning, a landscape was displayed that after all my wanderings still appears as the most beautiful I have ever beheld. At my feet lay the Great Central Valley of California, level and flowery, like a lake of pure sunshine, forty or fifty miles wide, five hundred miles long, one rich furred garden of yellow CompositÅ“. And from the eastern boundary of this vast golden flower-bed rose the mighty Sierra, miles in height, and so gloriously colored and so radiant, it seemed not clothed with light, but wholly composed of it, like the wall of some celestial city. Along the top and extending a good way down, was a rich pearl-gray belt of snow; below it a belt of blue and lark purple, marking the extension of the forests; and stretching long the base of the range a broad belt of rose-purple; all these colors, from the blue sky to the yellow valley smoothly blending as they do in a rainbow, making a wall of light ineffably fine. Then it seemed to me that the Sierra should be called, not the Nevada or Snowy Range, but the Range of Light. And after ten years of wandering and wondering in the heart of it, rejoicing in its glorious floods of light, the white beams of the morning streaming through the passes, the noonday radiance on the crystal rocks, the flush of the alpenglow, and the irised spray of countless waterfalls, it still seems above all others the Range of Light.

If Muir is enchanted by the Californian Sierra, repeating a number of times that “no mark of man is visibile upon it”, he is struck with awe by the valley, which he compares to a temple. The most famous and accessible of these cañon valleys, and also the one that presents their most striking and sublime features on the grandest scale, is the Yosemite, situated in the basin of the Merced River at an elevation of 4000 feet above the level of the sea. It is about seven miles long, half a mile to a mile wide, and nearly a mile deep in the solid granite flank of the range. The walls are made up of rocks, mountains in size, partly separated from each other by side cañons, and they are so sheer in front, and so compactly and harmoniously arranged on a level floor, that the Valley, comprehensively seen, looks like an immense hall or temple lighted from above. But no temple made with hands can compare with Yosemite. Every rock in its walls seems to glow with life. Some lean back in majestic repose; others, absolutely sheer or nearly so for thousands of feet, advance beyond their companions in thoughtful attitudes, giving welcome to storms and calms alike, seemingly aware, yet heedless, of everything going on about them. Awful in stern, immovable majesty, how softly these rocks are adorned, and how fine and reassuring the company they keep: their feet among beautiful groves and meadows, their brows in the sky, a thousand flowers leaning confidingly against their feet, bathed in floods of water, floods of light, while the snow and waterfalls, the winds and avalanches and clouds shine and sing and wreathe about them as the years go by, and myriads of small winged creatures birds, bees, butterflies–give glad animation and help to make all the air into music. Down through the middle of the Valley flows the crystal Merced, River of Mercy, peacefully quiet, reflecting lilies and trees and the onlooking rocks; things frail and fleeting and types of endurance meeting here and blending in countless forms, as if into this one mountain mansion Nature had gathered her choicest treasures, to draw her lovers into close and confiding communion with her.

The only human activity that Muir recognizes in this garden of Eden, is the destruction by the new settlers. Perhaps more than half of all the big trees have been thoughtlessly sold and are now in the hands of speculators and mill men. […] All private claims within these bounds should be gradually extinguished by purchase by the Government. It was clear to Muir that the Yosemite would not survive the new economy and its commercial drive: These temple destroyers, devotees of ravaging commercialism, seem to have a perfect contempt for Nature, and, instead of lifting their eyes to the God of the mountains, lift them to the Almighty Dollar.

Muir’s campaign for the preservation of the region resulted in the creation of the Yosemite National Park in 1890, with the inclusion of Yosemite Valley and the Maripose grove in 1906, when they were ceded from Californian state control to the federal state. The mission of the National Parks was articulated as such: to administer all parks “in such manner and by such means as to leave them unimpaired for the enjoyment of future generations.”

Then comes a piece of the story that i had no idea at all about. The park was under federal protection, but there was no National Park Service until until 1916. Which meant the park was protected for at least 10 years by the U.S. Army’s 24th Mounted Infantry and the 9th Cavalry, also known as the “Buffalo Soldiers” (remember Bob Marley’s song?), which were Afro-American regiments. They were established by Congress as the first peacetime all-black regiments in the U.S. Army. So just after the civil war, just after the general abolishment of slavery in the new republic. It seems that the Buffalo Soldiers were send to fight the Indian wars and then the Mexican wars. I need to find out more about this. Meanwhile i have this image in my mind of the immense natural beauty of Yosemite, white settlers (for money and gold), white conservationists (for “wilderness” sake), the massacre of Indians and their livelihoods, and recently broken-free-from-slavery Afro-American soldiers enacting federal laws in the region.

Yosemite – a monument of natural heritage, closely tied up with the establishment of national parks as an institution. Full of ambiguities, as the history of Yosemite shows. But not able to escape this ground of ambiguity&violence on this continent – there is indeed no garden of eden to be found here – it’s one of the few institutions of this new world i encountered thus far that i actually feel much sympathy for.

There’s something about the regulation of the masses that felt refreshing: access is not totally open, and it doesn’t work along criteria of money. You can only stay 7 nights in the valley during the summer period, 30 nights during the rest of the year. You have to camp in the designated camping areas. If you want to camp outside of the designated camping areas, you need to apply for a “wilderness pass”. And there’s something about keeping commercialization controlled. The groceries shops, the shop with hiking gear and the food places are all in the same wooden lodge style. Organized along “ethnic” niches of food – italian, mexican,… – but not branded. On our way back home the high way through every small insignificant town was basically a line up of the familiar colours and logos of McDonalds, Pizza Hut, KFC, Taco Bell,… and just imagine how much these companies would pay for a license to open a franchise in the park (with it’s 3,5 million visitors a year…). But they are not there, and what a break that is. And then there’s something about civic education: in the context of the U.S. it feel so good to come to a place where the value of the public sphere is somehow communicated. In fact, this site of natural heritage is the most “public” space (i.e. infused with an ethos of public good, not to be confused with the mall…) i’ve encountered since i live in this California. There’s even something about passion: in the short conversations i had with people working in the park, like Bill and the elderly lady in the Visitors Center, it struck me how much they were invested and believed in the value of their work, for the public good, for future generations.

And of course the ambiguity doesn’t go away, and of course much could be improved. Like a move away from the emphasis on “wilderness” and “natural” park to fully include the human history of the place, and some kind of memorial & educational project on the genocide in the region. And get those cars out of the valley! (which would be such an opportunity for an educational experience on how public transport – the free hybrid busses that connect the whole valley – can function perfectly well).

oh, and then i must make a confession. nothing to do about it: in places of mass tourism which Yosemite definately is – visitation exceeded one million in 1954, and in the mid-1990s there were more than four million visitors a year – i just get into a communist-pioneer state of mind: education and leisure for the masses who are collectively responsible for the place, and should interpellate each other on the vices of individual indulgence… ay ay ay…

angels and ancestors

The second night in Yosemite was magic –
i decided to sleep in open air
near to the tree next to our tents;
through its branches:
a view on the stars and the sky.

I found out about Yosemite’s cemetery, where some of the Indians who used to live here, the Ahwahneechee, were buried alongside some of the new Americans who campaigned for making Yosemite into a national park. I wanted to go to the cemetery, but there was no time. An immense need to find a material site where to mourn for what has been called the Californian genocide. Of all the things that i find painful in this place, there’s the tragedy of what is done to memory, the strong sense of a hardly acknowledged violent whiping out of people, culture and history. As Olivia said when we were talking back in Antwerpen not so long ago: you can feel that kind of violence in the land. In Santa Cruz there is no place to commemorate – what remains of the Mission is a painful site. And of course a small cemetery remains a merely symbol but at least it is a material one. Yes, one can mourn with the wind and sun, the water and the earth. But as Sara said: as attributing Native Americans with a vague spirituality that is everywhere and nowhere has gone hand in hand with taking away the materiality of lives, livelihoods and land, it is not enough. What happened to this land on which we walk?

In the absence of a more material way of mourning, we read a poem (once more by Drew Dillinger) that second night in Yosemite.

————————————————–
I write words to catch up to the ancestors.
An angel told me the only way
to walk through fire
without getting bured
is to become fire.
Some days angels whisper
in my ear as I walk
down the street and I fall in love
with every person I meet,
and I think, maybe this
could be a bliss
like when Dante met
Beatrice.
Other days all I see
is my collusion
with illusion.
Ghosts of projection
masquerading
as the radiant angel
of love.
You know I feel like
the ancestors
brought us together.

I feel like the ancestors
brought us here and they expect great things.
They expect us to say what
we think and
live how
we feel and follow the hard paths
that bring us near joy.
They expect us
to nurture
all the children.

I write poems to welcome angels
and conjure ancestors.
I pray to the angels of politics
and love.
I pray for justice sake
not to be relieved from my frustrations,
at the same time burning sage and asking ancestors for patience.
I march with the people
to the border
between nations
where
everything stops
except
the greed of corporations.

Thoughts like comets
calculating the complexity
of the complicity.

There is so much noise in the oceans
The whales can’t hear each other.
We’re making them crazy,
driving dolphins insane.
What kind of ancestors are we?

Thoughts like comets
leaving craters
in the landscape of my consciousness.

I pray to ancestors and angels:

Meet me in the garden.
Meet me where spirit walks softly
in the cool of the evening.
Meet me in the garden
under the wings of the bird
of many colors.
Meet me in the garden
of your longing.

Every breath
is a pilgrimage.

Every
breath
is a pilgrimage
to you.

I pray
to be
a conduit.

An angel told me:
the only way to walk through fire–
become fire.