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sunday morning and sahar wants to go to church, we join leta to inner light. different from last time; without penduling cynthia, with reverend deborah. she’s definately a charismatic figure. but the comparison with last time clarifies how her charisma serves to wrap up the emptiness at the heart of this church or gathering. |
there’s something else in her charismatic style that strikes me. she did the black preacher thing. the language, rhetoric, accent. maybe not a surprise, you might say, considering she’s a preacher and she’s black. but it striked me because in washington, at the spiritual activism conference, she spoke in a different way. seeking spiritual authority through well-composed speeches delivered in a slightly austere posture. what’s particularly interesting about her doing the black preacher thing, is that the church is so white. what does this “black performance” for a mainly white audience mean? plus the lesbian thing. what kind of intentional and non-intentional economies of subjectivity go into the white liberal santa cruz crowd seeking for words of wisdom from a black lesbian? you might say: why do you need to insist that she’s a black lesbian? she’s a preacher of the church, she happens to be black and lesbian, and the church happens to be mainly white. i tend to be sceptical about this kind of “happen to be”, but there’s more than that. virtually all the people that have spoken to me about the church did not talk about its particular beliefs or theology (i’d actually doubt that there is a coherent story to tell about the church’s theology…), but about the amaaaaazing reverend deborah who – did you know? – is a black lesbian. yes, that’s santa cruz (with a slightly complacent smile), we have a church with a black lesbian reverend. oh poor white knee-jerkingly liberal santa cruz, where do you go for redemption…
interestingly, a part of the sermon is about virtual space. its apparent disembodiment (“an affair in cyberspace doesn’t really count…”) but as we are spirit, as it’s all about where you put energy and creativity, it is as real as anything else, the reverend tells us. the theme of the month is creativity. sahar points out that she says some good things, especially considering the context of california and santa cruz, where people are “into creativity”. creativitiy, rev. deb. stresses, doesn’t necessarily produce good things. “we didn’t get a heart to love with and one to hate with – its the same heart.” likewise with creativity. it is also the source of computer games that are all about violence and destruction. clearly a message for those in church – must be a good bunch of them – commuting to silicon valley every day.
if last time the sermon was a mediocre lecture on global warming without charisma, this time it was an charismatic apolegy for neoliberalism. in the end its all in your own hands… healing, responsibility, what you make of your life. but all religion is apolegetic, sahar insits. perhaps for something, but not necessarily for neoliberalism. much of the ‘robust’ religious revivals articulate a position partially breaking out or in tension with capitalism and neo-liberalism. but then they’re apologetic for sexism or homophobia, sahar replies. and it goes without saying that this neo-liberal church honored a youth queer group this morning. divisions of the persistent kind…